Saturday August 24, 2002
Drunken Reviewer: Daniel Strange
Level of Drunkenness (out of 10): 5
Designated Driver: Sasha Veneziano
Let me put it simply. If they handed out an Oscar for Most Awesome Movie, they would have to hand it to Blue Crush. Is it a stretch to call it the best experimental film in cinema history? Yes, but not by much. It's about texture, and sound, and image - just as much as Meshes of the Afternoon or Un Chien Andalou - and, it KICKS ASS. Or to put it another way, it's the greatest Music Video ever made.
As far as story goes, Blue Crush is essentially the dramatic version of Bring It On. Now, I'm a little hazy about the details because of how much tequila I pounded beforehand, but I think the exact plot went something like this: there are some girls. (Also I think there was something to do with surfing.)
And maybe it was the tequila, or maybe it was the fact that the lead character spends almost the entire movie in a bikini, but when the movie was over, I knew one thing for certain: I really want to fuck Kate Bosworth.
There's not much more I can say besides that. Is Blue Crush everything you'd ever want a movie about Surfer Girls to be? Yes, down to the last frame. Plus there's some startlingly good cinematography, and the editing is so fucking insane that I suspect the Editor was also drunk throughout the flick. Oh yeah, and it's got the best usage of "Cruel Summer" in a flick since The Karate Kid.
Once again, I'll give my Designated Driver Sasha Veneziano the last word. As he and I walked out of the theater, I turned to him and said, "I enjoyed the shit out of that."
"Me too," he said, "especially the part with the girls. Which was basically...the whole movie."
The Verdict
You might not even need to be all that drunk to enjoy Blue Crush...but a shot or two of tequila sure wouldn't hurt.
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