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Home  >   Ask Mattamnuel (love advice from a real lover)   >   Secret Secretary Seeks Simple Satisfaction
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Secret Secretary Seeks Simple Satisfaction


From: Lee
Location: Florida
Sex: Female
Age:23
Favorite Movie: Donnie Darko

Dear Mattmanuel,

I recently took up a new position as a secretary for a local law firm. Actually it's not really a firm, it's just my boss and myself (and a paralegal who comes in once in a while). This is my first job and I'm very proud to be out in the working world but I have a problem. My boss and I have a unique relationship. It all started about three weeks ago when he called me into his office to discuss a mistake I had made on a letter (we only use typewriters and I had made several spelling errors). He told me to lean over the desk and read the letter aloud. I began to recite the letter when suddenly he gave me a very sharp spanking. I was shocked at first, perhaps too shocked to do anything so I continued reading. He did it again and again. I was confused at first but after it was over I had achieved the first real moment of bliss I had ever experienced in my life. Over the next few weeks we continued these activities and I was completely addicted to him. Recently I became so obsessed with these encounters that I went to his house to meet him outside of the office. He seemed so surprised to see me that I made up some silly excuse to be there, hoping we could speak to one another under somewhat more relaxed circumstances but he turned me away. Since then he's been very cold and, much to my dismay, our relationship has dissolved into a purely cordial business partnership. Here is my question:

What exactly does a paralegal do anyway?

Yours,
Lee



Answers (not necesarilly from the Mattmanuel)





Lee,

It seems to me that your boss hadn't hired you to do work, he probably did it so he can have his sick little pleasures. I think maybe you should start looking for another job, or keep your relationship strictly boss/worker. Try to get over your "addiction" and find someone that isn't your boss, hopefully your not in a relationship. Meanwhile, try to get over your addiction by finding a hobby, or something to keep your mind off of your boss.

Good Luck




lee, a paralegal basically does research and sets up arguments for the lawyer to revise and finalize. it's kinda like what mini-me is to dr. evil; the same thing, way smaller and no glory.

so what's wrong with a cordial business relationship? obviously it's not what you want out of this, but believe me, mixing business and pleasure is never a good idea.




Lee:

Screw the pig.
Yoy know where he lives... so burn his house down. And get some marshmallows.




How queer that this has been made into a movie Wink



That's not how you spell "anomaly"

Lee,

Maybe you and your bossfriend (get it? cause he's your boss and your boyfriend and when you put them together it makes bossfriend — cause boyboss sounds dumb that's why) should fight each other and sell tickets. You wouldn't have to actually hurt each other. It'll be like the WWE or the NFL, you know, totally made up and rehearsed. You'll need a cool fighting name though. I'd go with Lizzy Darko.

You Know,
Billy "Bossfriend" Kistler





Um. Yeah. Well, you could toilet paper his house. That's what I did to my teacher. He gave me an "A" on a test, and I couldn't decide what to do. I finally came to the conclusion that to toilet paper his house was the only logical solution.
You see, I ride my bike to school, and he rides his to school too(he has weight issues).
So, like, one day...........
I followed him home.
MU HA HA HA.
He didn't notice, and I came back later the next night with some friends. It was coo'.
He seemed distressed the next day in class.




what the fuck? why are you letting this fuckin' pervert even come near you you should get this cunt-rag fired or sued for sexual harrasment, your boss used you as a sexual object! THINK! IM FUCKIN' TIRED OF THIS SHIT! LIFE ISNT ALWAYS ABOUT SEX AND FUN, ITS ALSO ABOUT RESPONSIBLITY! AND HONESTY, YOU PEOPLE MAKE ME FUCKIN' SICK TO MY FUCKIN' STOMACH!

MATTMANUEL says:

Pyro, honey, you've got issues.

You have more issues than the fictional character who began this thread and she's got a lot of issues.

But let's talk about those issues dear, write to Mattmanuel, let him know why you are so afraid of sex or other people having sex. Why does the thought of other people having sex enrage you so?

Mattmanuel is listening Pyro.


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