Tuesday July 08, 2003
From: Monique
Location: cali
Sex: female
Age: 26
Favorite Movie: Fear and Loathin in Las Vegas or Blow
Hello Mattmanuel,
So my boyfriend and I used to be able to sensual and kinky sex all the time and now he just dosnt seem to want it. Examples: last night we were laying in bed and started to finger myself which always turns him on... he just went to sleep. or a week ago when we were in the car and took my clothes off and started rubbing on his cock... he just told me to put my clothes on an that people could see me...help, im just a horney young woman who wants to love on her man-
Monique
Daniel Strange says:
Baby,
It's not uncommon for relationships to go through periods where one (or both) of the people is less sexually attracted to the other. This is relatively normal. On the other hand, total lack of interest in sex can be a sign that things are on the rocks.
To determine which this particular situation is, you need to sit down and have a talk with your man. If you have a relationship built on honesty and communication, you can trust what he tells you. It may just be one of those "ebb-and-flow" typ things.
If this is the case, I find that sometimes having sex be made less available can bring back the "exciting" factor. Like, if it's withheld just a tad, he might not take it for granted so much.
Best of luck to you, and if it doesn't work out, try hooking up with Nylyan. He's in the area and he seems like a cool guy.
D.
Nylyan says:
Wow, a ringing endorsement from D. How'd you know I'd be interested?
Again I have to agree with the D'ster, and not because he tried to hook me up.
I've found that sometimes withholding or even feigning indifference to sex can cause your partner to perk up a bit and want it more. Unless of course it has the opposite effect, in which case, start talkin', figure out what's goin on.
There can also be many causes for lack of sexual appetite. I suffer from none of these, but some men do. Emotional instability, age, diet (i've heard), lack of excersise, depression, nerves, or...smite the bastard...he's getting it somewhere else. If the latter is the case, please, feel free to try some of the dumping techniques posted elsewhere, then look me up.
sugarfix says:
Daniel Strange is wise and you should heed his words. This also might be helpful...
Here are the stages of sexual intercourse in standard relationships, and a few examples of each:
Level 1
Basic Sex; also known as Vanilla Sex or Meat 'n Potato Sex- missionary position, girl on top
Level 2
Intermediate Sex- Doggy-style, oral sex
Level 3
Basic Kinky Sex- anal sex, dirty talk, sex in public places
Level4
Full-on Kinky Sex- fetish, role playing
Level 5
Dangerously Kinky Sex- S&M, threesomes
Evaluate which level you and your boyfriend are on at present. Correlate the level to the amount of time you two have been together. For example, a couple which has been sexually active for a few weeks or months is most likely near Level 1 or 2. If you've touched on all the levels that are within reason for you, it might be helpful to skip around...mix it up. Go back to basics or proceed to the next level, as long as you are comfortable.
The longer you are with someone, the easier it is to get to the next level. It is also sometimes necessary to proceed. However, not all couples reach or care to reach the higher levels. The most important thing is that both parties be on the same level at the same time.
Above all, you must communicate with your partner! 
Billy Kistler says:
Holy sugar-smacks ColorCoded!
Is it okay for me to print this out so I have a cheat sheet for later in life?
Nylyan says:
Go right ahead Billy, you seem the type that might need it.
However I think the "dirty talk" should actually be level 2, not level 3.
sugarfix says:
It just depends on how dirty the dirty talk is... 
Nylyan says:
Very true. I suppose "light dirty talk" wouldn't really belong in a level. My soon to be ex-lover doesn't much care for the dirty talk though, so I'm a bit behind the times.
It's a good thing I have MovieCall to keep me up to date.
sugarfix says:
Consider yourself lucky if you don't play "Twenty Questions: Version XXX". It can get awkward, because not very many people are good at it.
Nylyan says:
You mean there are people out there that don't know what wookiee means when used sexually? Losers.
I appologize for the above statement. I was a bit harsh. Billy, I realize you're too young to know what it means to have a wookiee.
Anonymous says:
I KNOW WHAT A WOOKIE IS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   
Grimble says:
good ray, here's a candy.
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