EL:You are about to enter the world of movie review survival HORROR!
MM: Hold on there, I have something to say to the people out there before we bust loose on this movie.
MM: I finally saw The Royal Tenenbaums!
EL: That's great, but we are doing a review of R-E-S-I-D-A-N-T E-V-I-L.
MM: You spelled that wrong.
EL: Fine, we'll fix that later, anyway lets do the review.
MM: I just want to let everyone know that The Royal Tenenbaums really was better than Booty Call. It really and truly was a great movie. It was such a funny, but also a sad movie, I mean it was SO FUNNY, but at the same time SO SAD!
EL: Yes it sure had wide range, would you say that Resident Evil had a good range?
MM: Well for a movie based on a video game...
EL: Agreed. I have to say I was pretty skeptical of the movie for many reasons. First of all there are almost no even acceptable movies based on video games. B, this movie was written by the guy who wrote Spawn. And three, the commercials made it look really stupid. That's why I was kind of surprised that I enjoyed it.
MM:It may be one of those times when your expectations are so low that it can't help but surprise you. Not like the Royal Tenenbaums which really had to work to impress me. That movie was great.
EL:Yeah but getting back to Resident Evil, the context in which we saw it may have made a difference. My biggest question after seeing the commercials was "Who is going to see this movie? Who are they marketing to?" It seemed that only people who had played the game would go and see it but considering how many people bought copies of the games, maybe that was enough. Anyway Mattmanuel and I went on opening night with a packed theater of people who all seemed to know their Resident Evilography.
MM:Everyone there was ready to party, which was great because it was really one of those movies that made you want to groan both in good ways and bad.
EL:But it was always entertaining.
MM:That's true. Not in the way the Royal Tenenbaums is entertaining bu-
EL:But definitely silly and fun.
MM:Yeah, It's one of those movies where you're yelling "OOOH!" all the time, kind of like that moment in "The Haunting" when Owen Wilson gets decapitated by the giant swinging lion's head, and all Lili Taylor can think to say is "Oh NO!"
EL: Only better.
MM: And how... Speaking of Owen Wilson, was he not hilarious in TRT? "Wildcat!" And where did they get those paintings for his house?!!! Folks if you haven't seen it yet, you have to see these paintings, they will blow your-
EL: [Clears his throat] One really excellent part was a sequence in the laser room.
MM: When Royal takes his grandsons out on the town?
EL: NO! In Resident Evil!
EL:These supercommandos get trapped in a narrow corridor and are attacked by a series of lasers that cut people up like razors. Each laser is little more clever than the last and it dismantles the commandos, in no uncertain terms, with hilarious but mostly horrifying results.
MM:I also liked the part with the elevator when it goes berserk. That was crazy! That reminds me of the Royal Tenenbaums when Royal and Pagoda get jobs as elevator operators. Now that was crazy.
EL:YOU'RE CRAZY!! Stick to the subject!
MM:Dude, sorry, just chill out.
EL: Aaaargh. Anyway, there were definitely some things in the movie that didn't make sense. Characters would jump from one room to another without any real explanation. The director seemed to enjoy playing on the tension in scenes a little too often. There were too many parts where a character put their face a little too close to something they shouldn't, the synthesizer music gets louder and suddenly they're SLAPPED ON THE BACK by one of their friends who then say, "Come on, let's keep moving." So there were lots of cliches some of which were annoying, others were rip-roaring silly and satisfying.
MM:Yeah I think that it would be one of the most annoying movies to listen to because that sudden loud scary noise they use in all the movies these days happens every 5 minutes. Of course to be fair, you shouldn't really just listen to this movie. Even though the part with people getting slices up by lasers is kind of gross and you want to close your eyes, you shouldn't because some people in hollywood put a lot of effort into the visuals.
EL: Yeah, the sets were good. Sparse, but good. You really get the sense that this is what it would be like to work at a giant underground military technology corporation, like Microsoft.
MM: Hmmm.... Although, when I think about it, I bet The Royal Tenenbaums would stand as a purely auditory experience, especially with that kick ass sound track. I mean EVERY song they played I was like "YES I LOVE THIS SONG!" But I digress.
EL:Yes you do. All and all the movie had very low aspirations. It basically wanted to take the game and put it up on screen. The crazy thing is it succeeded, which is something I couldn't really say for most other video game movies. Sometimes it would lift camera shots right out of the game which provided a good chuckle for Resident Evil veterans. But it never felt pretentious. I don't think it holds water next to some of the great zombie films but that's mainly because it wasn't a zombie movie, it was a video game movie.
MM:How weird that there is such a genre now. I wonder if the Royal Tenenbaums will start a new convention in movies.
EL:I'm going to start a new convention in kicking your ass if you don't stick to the movie we're review.
MM:Chhhhh, you wish. Let's put a cap in this one like a zombie's brain.
EL:Resident set out with a modest goal and succeeded. It wasn't great but it didn't humiliate itself. I'd say it's about as good as Booty Call.
MM: I enjoyed it as much as booty call, in a different way... What I am really psyched about is The Royal Tenenbaums video game!